Helping Kids Grieve the Death of a Friend or Loved One
Grief is not something that only happens to adults, grief happens across the lifespan. Although grief happens across the lifespan, different ages as well as different people grieve differently. As an adult it may be hard for us to grasp the idea that kids do not grieve at the level that we do nor in the way that we do. While being there for your child is a huge first step in helping them grieve, kids’ language is done mostly by play.
Now that we understand that children can express their grief through play, here is a list of different activities you can do with your child or let them do them alone to foster this grieving process for them:
Write in a Journal
Let your child decorate their own journal and help them understand that whenever they have big feelings, they can write them down in their personal journal.
Plant a Tree
This tree can be in remembrance of the person they are grieving. This is symbolic of the growth they helped them have while they were here on Earth.
Read a Book on Grief
Here are just a few that you can read with your child:
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
Someone I Love Died by Christine Harder Tangvald
Why Do I Feel So Sad? By Tracy Lambert, LPC
Everywhere, Still: A Book about Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues by M.H. Clark
Make a Memory Box
Help your child put things in a memory box that reminds them of their loved one that died. This box can continue to be somewhere they put things they make or they find that remind them of their loved one.
Practice Deep Breathing
Grief can be a very overwhelming experience for kids and sometimes they may experience abnormal breathing. A deep breathing exercise can get their breathing back to normal to be able to talk with them about their feelings. One exercise to use is box breathing.
Make a Craft
Arts and crafts are a big item for kids. Certain crafts they can make are a memory bracelet with charms that remind them of their loved one, painting memory stones for a garden, or making a memorial wind chime full of things the loved one liked.
Write a Letter
Although the loved one does not actually receive the letter, having your child write them a letter will help them transfer what is in their head or heart to paper. They can even go to the gravesite and read the letter to the loved one if that is appropriate for the child.
Make A Grief Playlist
People of all ages love music. Helping your child come up with a playlist that helps them navigate how they are feeling or using songs that remind them of their loved one can be very cathartic experience for the child.
Sometimes having a simple conversation is hard for a child to express their grief because they truly don’t know how they are feeling themselves. Through some of the activities listed above, you, the guardian, can help them express those feelings and even gain a better understanding of what your child may need from you.
